But as a chronically ill patient we have a long list of encounters with nursing staff, so we must also fondly recall the nurses who made unquestionable improvements in our care by being our advocate when no one else would listen, or just by holding our hand while we received a underwent painful (and possibly lonely) procedure.

When I was recently checked into the hospital, the nurse had to push me outside from the wound care center around the hospital's construction zone walkway. Ironically, we both had rheumatoid arthritis and I made a new friend by our simple ten-minute conversation. Despite my infection, I felt much more comfortable by the time I got to the hospital.

As the editor of HopeKeepers Magazine, I have tried to get a nurse to write an article explaining what a typical day is like at a doctor's office where she is employed. I know many minutes are filled with frantic scheduling issues, checking patients in, trying to please the physicians, all while doing more that can be expected in the time allotted.

I haven't found a nurse yet who was even willing to be interviewed for an article; more than a few have said, "If my article was discovered I could lose my job!"

With chronically ill patients and nurses continuing to improve their understanding of one another's and each other's needs however, there is only room for improvement in this long-standing relationship. Sadly, sometimes the nurse/patient relationship lasts longer than some marriages.

Here are 12 ways to better understand the chronically ill patient.

[1] When you ask "Are you taking any medications?" and I hand you two pages with them listed, please don't look shocked or as if I am an addict.

[2] It grows tiring to always be the patient and only have people interested in my physical body. When you ask me about how I am coping with my illness emotionally, I feel like you really care. Sometimes it loosens me up enough that I may even be more comfortable and forthcoming about things that doctor may benefit in knowing about the physical symptoms.

[3] Thanks for celebrating little things with me, such as reaching a goal weight or decreasing a medication. I know you see these things every day, but to me they are a big deal. You are one of the few people who understand how hard it is for a chronically ill patient to reach these goals. Your enthusiasm makes me day!

[4] Logically, I know you don't know every medication on the market, but when you have to ask me how to spell the medication that is advertised in every women's magazine, I wonder how often you get out of the office.

[5] When you say things like, "You cope so well with your disease. I really admire what a great attitude you have," that can keep me going for another week.

[6] When you have asked, "Can I pray for you?" I'm very thankful for your offer. I know some of your patients may say no, but for many, it may be the first time someone has ever offered to pray for them.

[7] There are times when I am have been having a medical procedure and my family is not able to be there. I know it's a minor procedure for you, but the fact that you understand it's a major procedure to me, and you stick around and hold my hand, is one of the nicest things anyone ever does for me.

[8] I am somewhat of a "professional patient." And that means I can come across a little bit like a control freak when it comes to monitoring my pain level and knowing when and how much medication I need to control it. That said, handing you the reins of dispersing all of my medication when I'm in the hospital is a challenge. The time of morning I take my drugs makes all the difference in my day. So I appreciate when you are able to get it to me as close to the right time as possible.

[9] I know you have bad days too. Feel free to tell me "Today has been a little crazy." You are allowed to be grumpy, but let me know if I am not specifically the cause of your mood and to the so I don't take it personally.

[10] I really do have a life, even if it's filled with medical visits, therapies, lab test, etc. I'm not trying to be difficult when you are scheduling appointments or trying to reach me. I just want my family to have as normal of life as possible despite my illness.

[11] I appreciate it when you are able to call in prescriptions so they are ready at the pharmacy when I get there. I know it's an extra step for you, but it helps me tremendously.

[12] When I am in the hospital your willingness to help with a shower, change the sheets, or just have a conversation to distract me from where I am, makes all the difference in my stay. I appreciate the fact that you treat me like a real person, and not just a project.

Being chronically ill is not easy. Neither is the career of a nurse. By each person remembering to say, "thank you" and "I admire your strength," both the nurse and the patient can have an effective, even enjoyable, relationship.

By Lisa Copen, who is the founder of Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week
Reprinted from IllnessMinistry.Ning.com